Taming the elephant in the living room

Bullying scars for life.  Whether you were the victim or the perpetrator…and I think we suspect that most perpetrators are themselves victims.  But not all–some are pure predators.   Others are simply seeking their place within a hierachy, without enough healthy “push-back” to show them the limits of their actions.


There is a story about a game preserve in Kenya, where the young elephants were attacking  people, animals, other elephants and structures.  The debate had begun to accelerate: should they be destroyed?  They simply didn’t seem to know what to do.  Some observant and wise person noticed that, due to several factors, there were no older male elephants in the herd.  So they tried something unique: they brought in several older bull elephants.


The young ones fought against them, and not surprisingly, lost–got their butts whipped.  And…gentled right down.  Stopped the violent behavior and became responsible members of the herd.  The “bullies” became “protectors.”


Hmmm.    This concept applies within human beings, between human beings, within societies, and between them.  Endless applications.




We have the responsibility as human beings to “balance the humors” in an emotional, symbolic sense.  To complete our childhoods in a healthy way, regardless of whatever damage we received actually growing up.  There are endless therapies, meditations, and disciplines dedicated to dynamic balance and clarity. It is your job to find your own way to this.


In a way, “Writer’s Block” could be seen as nothing more than “bullying” by the “editor” mind over the “flow” mind.  That weight issues are the tyranny of the abused inner child. That relationship dysfunctions are disruption of the inner family (no “protective father” energy?  No “nurturing creative mother” energy?).  That inability to balance the checkbook or save money is lack of “grandparent” guidance leading to a grasshopper “live for today” mentality.


Look at yourself, in whatever way you represent these things.  If you were to look at:







And considered balance in each to be important, where would your wounds show most clearly?    How do they manifest?


These are just conceptual tools. The amount of time you spend arguing about whether they “exist” or what they “should” be may not be a useful expenditure of your time, and function as distractions from the work.


Used properly, they can help you see the back of your own head, the elephant in your living room.    It’s bad enough if it is peaceful and friendly.  Don’t let it go rogue.



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