Would you want someone to love you at the cost of their own happiness?


I find the term “Friend Zone” VERY useful, and go with the dictionary definition: one person wants to be friends, the other wants a romantic relationship.  Countless books, movies and stories have been spun around that. The fact that some very immature, ignorant people react to this as is the object of affection OWES them something, or is “manipulating” them, is simply one of the dysfunctional delusions we must conquer on the way to maturity.

No one can keep you in the “friend zone” without your permission.  No single person has the key to your happiness.  You don’t really want or need some specific lover–you want or need the way you FEEL when you are with them, or imagine you would feel.  Yes, you want that connection…but if you really care about them, you want them to be happy, regardless of who they find.   Anthony De Mello’s classic “would you want me to love you at the cost of my own happiness?” is close to a perfect question.

And if you really like and love yourself, you will have confidence that you can create that wonderful connection…and can actually use your rejection to fuel your growth.

Preparing yourself for a mature relationship…healing your heart…dealing with the fear that you cannot connect…banishing the resentment and anger that supports the “she/he owes me” delusion (typically, this is the “I gave her time/resources.  She owes me sex!” or “I gave him sex.  He owes me time/resources!” toxic cocktail) and actually having a happy, healthy life regardless of who does or doesn’t groove to you…THAT is a goal worth working toward, and this Saturday we’re looking at the “Emotion” part of the basic triad.

Saturday June 6, 2015 11 am pst


Phone Number: (724) 444-7444

Call ID: 137903

I’ll be joined by fourth generation matchmaker, Terry Brussel for a discussion on “Getting out of the Friend Zone.”    Terry ran Marriage Minded Introductions, then the oldest matchmaking service in California for over 40 years and now does relationship coaching. The service was run in the 1960s by Terry’s father Barry Leon Brussel. The family’s matchmaking  origins date back to her great grandmother in  1910.  Terry is also a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and director of  Success Center Inc. She has authored several books including Matchmaker’s Corner: Choosing, Finding and Attracting a Life Mate and the hypnotic audio recording Attract Your Special Someone.

Terry Brussel has been featured on many radio and television shows including the Eye Witness News and CBS News on Valentine’s Day in the 80s), as well as receiving coverage in print media. She is a popular speaker at conventions like the Conscious-Life Expo.

Terry can be reached at 800-Life Mate (543-3628) or www.acesuccess.com

Steve can be reached at www.stevenbarneslife.com

Join us!

Saturday June 6, 2015 11 am pst


Phone Number: (724) 444-7444

Call ID: 137903

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