Are you stuck in a JOY=PAIN loop? Here’s the way out…

The lines on your face, in repose, reveal whether your habitual expressions are positive or negative.  Scary thought, isn’t it?  I was visiting with a friend recently who said that  he didn’t know what being really “happy” was, but that  he was “satisfied” if  he got his work done properly, made real contribution.

Digging deeper, asking about happiness, it seemed that  he was satisfied being at the “zero point”–so long as  he didn’t feel in the negative, all was well, or well enough.    Digging deeper,  he expressed a belief that if  he was happy,  he might not get anything done, and since his sense of self-worth was connected to work/contribution, happy=pain.  JOY=LAZINESS=PAIN.

Do you see that trick?  He has no relationship, and is perhaps fifty pounds overweight.   There is a tremendous amount of fear and anger repressed there, tamped down by constant action.  He is very spiritual, but forever waiting to learn just a little more before really digging in and getting to work.

So many tangled threads.

I offer you the same challenge given to him.   Try being  happy for a week.  One week.    Five times a day, every three hours, for sixty seconds shift your posture, facial expression, internal/external monologue and focus to “happy.”       If you don’t think you have anything positive to think/feel about, you simply haven’t looked deeply enough.  Just as there are ALWAYS negatives in your life, there are ALWAYS positives as well.    If you can’t find five minutes of “happy” out of 24 hours, your ego is playing an exceptionally cruel trick on you.

If you cannot shift your body language and focus to “positive” for those sixty seconds, start your week over again.   

If you hit seven days of “positive” (not taking more than a few seconds to shift to positive on any of your “5X”), look back on what you have accomplished in that week.  More? Less?   If less, then you really are wired to respond more to pain than pleasure, and I’ll shut up.

But I’m betting that you’ll accomplish more, and more happily. That the people around you will respond more, be more positively responsive.  If customers, they will buy more. If students, learn more.  If children or spouse, give you back more love. It is VERY difficult not to love someone who radiates joy at you.   And remember: the only known way to compensate for lack of ability or intelligence is to bond yourself to people who have those capacities.   And the best way to bond yourself to them is to give them emotional support.   Feed them from your emotional overflow.  Works like crazy.

If you look back over the week, and you’ve accomplished more, more easily, with greater joy and contribution, ask yourself where you got the belief that joy=laziness=pain.   Whose voice is that in your head?

One week to take back your life.

You’re worth it.   How much do I believe this?   I’ll bet you a buck.  To NOTHING.  Try it for one week.  Every three hours, spend sixty seconds deliberately shifting your body language, expression, verbalization and focus to positive.  At the end of the week, you will have accomplished more, with greater joy, and lifted up everyone around you.

Do it.  If you do, and honestly disagree with me, tell me.  I’ll trust you. And send you a dollar.  If you win, you win.  If you “lose”, you win.

Who’ll take the bet?



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