“A teacher, who has trained and directed the efforts of more than 30,000 sales people, made the astounding discovery that highly sexed men are the most efficient salesmen. The explanation is, that the factor of personality known as “personal magnetism” is nothing more nor less than sex energy.”—Napoleon Hill
There is a book which seems to have disappeared. I can find no copy of it, or even mention of it, anywhere. I read it right out of high school (I was still a virgin at the time) and it was called (if I am remembering correctly) “Scoremanship.” It was, specifically, an adaptation of high-pressure sales techniques to the art of seduction. Not as vile as some of the ‘Speed Seduction’ techniques I’ve seen discussed, it nonetheless had some very interesting things to say on the subject, and I devoured every word with great interest.
The idea that sexuality is connected with salesmanship makes sense: sales and marketing is nothing but hunting and gathering. Hunting and gathering are intimately connected with survival on the personal or genetic level: I’ve yet to hear a guy say that as he became more successful (all other things being equal) women became less attracted to him.
On the other hand, I HAVE heard successful, ambitious women complain about the fact that THEIR success did not translate to greater attractiveness. It would be very interesting to investigate this and see if it was true for gay women, will continue to be true as the culture shifts, is the result of any real or imagined shifts in mating cues…all sorts of stuff.
Let’s take that Five-Fold Plan and see how it applies to sales or seduction, because if Hill is correct, they are really two versions of the same thing.
1) Love yourself. That means loving the product or service you are promoting. You would use it, or recommend it to your own family. You would be attracted to you. You are PROUD of yourself, and have a sense of value about your heart and sexuality. You believe that you can give value to others.
2) Expand your sense of “self” to include others. You want to help the customer, and believe that your product or service can do just that, if nothing more than stress relief. You empathize with them enough to understand what THEY are looking for, and speak to them in that language. “Wouldn’t it be great if needy were a turn-on” is a line I love from “Broadcast News.” Well, it isn’t, not to any healthy non-predatory person. And while some people will buy an item of trivial cost from a desperate salesman, in general, what a customer wants to know is: “what will this do for ME?” THIS IS CRITICAL TO UNDERSTAND. They are as selfish as you. If you want a job, don’t go to someone saying “I need a job.” Study their business and be able to say: “I can increase your profit and reduce your stress. I am the answer to your problem.” If they believe you, they will always say yes. In seduction, this is understanding what your potential partner wants and needs. And while this may be a mystery to you when you are a teenager, by the time you’re in your late 20’s, frankly, you should have talked this through with enough people that you understand. Men and women just aren’t that complicated, and the only reason not to understand them is that you don’t understand yourself.
3) Understand human beings, and the flow of history, without guilt, blame, or shame. If you see men and women locked in some eternal war, if you think men are evil, or women are venal, or whatever, you are going to poison your relationships. Similarly, if you think customers are stupid, or sales and marketing are wrong and manipulative, or money is the root of all evil, you are going to poison your finances. YOU MUST RESOLVE THESE THINGS until all of it is just the working of the natural world, with a sense that nature is perfect.
4) Find your tribe. Learn to let the sleeping children lie, and to avoid/deal with Smiling Monsters. In seduction, you are looking for the people who share your values who have the green light on. Of that group, you then present yourself politely and cheerfully, and if they aren’t interested (they want a car, but aren’t interested in your make and model) thank them for their time and go on to the next prospect. “Sleepers” are people locked in the games and illusions of sex and romance. That can be fun—I’ve played that as well. But frankly, at some point you should get tired, and move on to the real purpose: creating a bond with someone who will move with you through life. The deepening of your knowledge of self through energetic mirroring. And of course Smiling Monsters: predators. Sharks cruising for injured seals. Beware. They really exist. Frankly, if you use drugs or alcohol when in “search” mode you send out signals of “I am impaired” and there are people searching for those broadcasting on that frequency. Be very careful. In writing, your “tribe” are those interested in reading the kinds of writing you do. “Sleepers” are those who may not be interested in reading (under the right circumstances, awakening this group can actually be quite profitable. But I suggest finding those already searching) and the “Smiling Monsters” might be the Vanity Publishers who will charge you to publish your own books, taking advantage of your hunger, and draining your bank account.
5) SUCCEED. With the other steps in place, you can delve into a book like “Think And Grow Rich” and use it to maximize your efforts. Whether your goal is hunting/gathering or becoming the best person you can be (and therefore attract a more suitable partner) the precise same rules apply.
Wow. Until I wrote that, I wasn’t totally certain how the Five Steps would map over to both of these areas, but they do, just fine.
I leave it as an exercise to you to find an arena in which they WON’T work. They were designed to specifically take personal goals and connect them with social change, simply by aligning with your real values, and teaching you how to maximize your efforts and avoid the pitfall of thinking you have to convince everyone of your cause. This would be like thinking your product or service needs to appeal to everyone. Or that if EVERYONE doesn’t “want you” you have somehow failed. No, not at all. Not even if you want to make massive social change.