The First Step: Loving Yourself


I’ve experimented with applying that five step program for personal success and social change to a number of different arenas, searching for a way to falsify it.    So far, so good.  The first step is “Love yourself”.  Some thoughts on what happens if you don’t:


  1. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to look clearly at your own flaws and failings, for fear that they will indicate corruption and evil, rather than simple human weakness.
  2. You won’t be able to discipline yourself fully.  
  3. You are vulnerable to others who can threaten to withhold approval or affection.
  4. You will not be able to evoke a protective response, such that physical threats will be more terrifying. There is NOTHING as protective as a loving mother or father defending their young.   
  5. Fear runs riot.  The antidote for fear is love and faith, and without them you can be so utterly terrified by life that you won’t even be able to acknowledge you are afraid.
  6. Shame can also interfere with your ability to admit you are afraid, and without taking that first step, you can be trapped in illusion.


A few positive results of loving yourself.


  1. You believe you are worthwhile, and therefore less likely to settle for an abusive relationship, job, or social situation.
  2. You can easily avoid co-dependency, as you do not “need” other human beings in an unhealthy way.  
  3. By loving yourself, you BEGIN with the emotions most people believe they have to achieve or gain external approval to possess.  
  4. “Core Transformation” suggests that everything we do, EVERYTHING, even the most evil, violent actions, we do to achieve a sense of connection to the divine.   We might interpret this as the sense of connection and acceptance we had in the womb.  By making this connection without the negative actions, it is possible to step away from them, realize why we did them in the first place, heal and evolve.


But how to make this connection?   I’ll go into that soon, but the first step is to determine if you believe this is something valuable, something desirable, something achievable, and right, and good.


Thoughts?  Comments, questions, or requests on this first principle?



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