In love, be calculating but not cold


“To market Personal services effectively, (which means a permanent market, at a satisfactory price, under pleasant conditions), one must adopt and follow the “QQS” formula which means that QUALITY, plus QUANTITY, plus the proper SPIRIT of cooperation, equals perfect salesmanship of service. Remember the “QQS” formula, but do more-APPLY IT AS A HABIT!

Let us analyze the formula to make sure we understand exactly what it means.

  1. QUALITY of service shall be construed to mean the performance of every detail, in connection with your position, in the most efficient manner possible, with the object of greater efficiency always in mind.
  2. QUANTITY of service shall be understood to mean the HABIT of rendering all the service of which you are capable, at all times, with the purpose of increasing the amount of service rendered as greater skill is developed through practice and experience. Emphasis is again placed on the word HABIT.
  3. SPIRIT of service shall be construed to mean the HABIT of agreeable, harmonious conduct which will induce cooperation from associates and fellow employees.

Adequacy of QUALITY and QUANTITY of service is not sufficient to maintain a permanent market for your services. The conduct, or the SPIRIT in which you deliver service, is a strong determining factor in connection with both the price you receive, and the duration of employment.”–Napoleon Hill


Tuesday is: “Love another human being” day.  And if you can view the question of relationships from multiple levels, you are waaaay ahead of the game.


  1. Core survival.  Someone who would bring you a bowl of soup if you were too sick to get out of bed. Who would share the last two ampules of penicillin with you in the middle of a plague.
  2. Sex.  Need I say more?  To be able to invest the energy used pursuing sex to building a life of safety and purpose and joy?  Sublime.
  3. Power.  You need a mastermind partner to rise above your own abilities and limitations.  Your mate is this primary.
  4. Love.   Opening your heart to another human being can be one of the doorways to maturity and wisdom.
  5. Communication.   Learning to communicate with someone with whom you MUST communicate, from whom you CANNOT just walk away, is critical to learning that, as Larry Niven says: “there are other people who think as well as you…but different.”
  6. Thought.   Learning to understand the world view of one other human being opens your mind and teaches you to create those maps for others…and how to test your own map and argue fairly, critical to learning “how to know what you know.”
  7. Spirit.   Caring about another person deeply takes you to your limits and beyond in terms of your soul’s growth.  


All of these things are true, and it is possible to approach relationships from any of these perspectives.  But on the level of logic, it is useful to look at a potential mate is a long-term employment/partnership contract.  You are indeed offering personal services.  And when doing that, it might be fun to look at some marketing principles, and apply them.


  1. First, love yourself.  Be SURE that you would be happy to be in relationship with yourself. Otherwise, what kind of con job are you trying to pull?  The truth is that we attract people at our level of personal power and integration AND BELOW. And we are attracted to people at our level of personal power and integration AND ABOVE.   When these two circles overlap, bingo. If they don’t…the problem is in the mirror.
  2. Marketing might be seen as a combination of MESSAGE,   MARKET, and MEDIUM.   Being brutally honest, this means:
  3. MESSAGE.  What are you offering?   YOU are the “product.”  What is your “USP”: “Unique Selling Proposition.”  Who are you? What do you have to offer that no one else in the world can offer?   If you are an adult, you’ve had tens of thousands of hours to develop unique skills and abilities and proclivities.   If you haven’t…then an hour a day for three years will put in the thousand hours of time necessary to cross the threshold of expertise.  Being an expert in YOU lets you know who you are and what you have to offer.   And if you love yourself, you’ll care enough to take this time.
  4. MARKET.  Who is your “Avatar”?  Your perfect customer…or mate?  One might define this, in sales, as “who is the PRECISE customer you’d want to be in front of, if you HAD to sell your product, or your son or daughter would die?”  Get real. Get specific.  Who is the PRECISE person who would most need and desire what YOU have to offer.  Can’t think of one?   Understand yourself better, to better understand who you are and what you have to give.   Want to start on the other end?  Clearly define what YOU desire, and then get busy turning yourself into the person who can attract and hold that beloved (“The Soulmate Process”)  Why waste your time on people who aren’t what you want, or who don’t need what you have?  And if the voice in your head says: “no one needs what I have” then you haven’t taken care of step #1: loving yourself.  Get to work.
  5. MEDIUM.   In marketing, this might be internet, classified ads, television and radio ads, direct mail, and so forth. And you know what?   All of these are also used for finding partners.    In every case, it is identifying what you have to offer, precisely who and what you are looking for (being very careful to be honest that you can provide honest value) and putting that information where the kind of person you’re looking for can find it.   If you aren’t quite that blunt, then it is a matter of asking: “where do the kind of people I’m attracted to congregate?” and spending time there.  You are looking for (as the saying goes) a “target rich environment.”   Your tribe.   Once there, you look for those who have their “green light” on, indicating they are searching for a partner.  How to recognize them?   First be honest about the fact that YOU have that yearning, and look deeply within yourself to contact your basic mating instincts, your hungers.  Get real–you are descended from thousands of generations of primates who found mates. You really think you don’t have the instincts?  Oh, please.  YOU JUST HAVE TO BE HONEST, AND SENSITIVE to your own truth, and thereby become aware of the signals and communications from others.   


Know your value–increase it if necessary.  Know precisely what you are looking for.  Express yourself in the world in such a way that you come to the attention of the people you are searching for.


Remember…you only need ONE.  


But first, ALWAYS…love yourself.





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