You are worth fighting for

The Firedance Workshop over the weekend was another chance to ask the question: “how rapidly is it possible to communicate the essence of something that cannot be put into words?” This is critical, because if we are confined to things that can be expressed verbally, we’re pretty much limited to things that are trivial, and can be twisted by clever minds.

The “Kundalini” energy is said to “arise” when “blockages” in the survival, sex, power, emotion, communication, and intellectual impulses are untangled.   A blockage in any of these arenas (often due to damage, or conflicting values) will often manifest in the “chakra” (this as a conceptual tool, not a literal reality) above or below it.   Combine this with the notion that we can “awaken” this energy from the body “up” or the heart “out” but never ever from the head DOWN.  The world is filled with people who can talk a good game, create perfectly logical maps of reality and then ask you to pay more attention to them than you do actual experience of life.  This is “crazy making”, “gaslighting” on a level that has led to uncounted misery on the person and social levels.  

The answer is to commit to developing a map of reality (“what is true?”) and then constantly test it (“how do I know what is true?”) using real-world results as your measurement.

The best, simplest and most complete measures are body, mind, and spirit. The best way to anchor these in reality is fitness/health, career, and relationships.   There are others, but these produce simple, easily measured, photographable results. While luck certainly influences these, in the LONG term, our results are usually the consequence of the daily actions we take.  Those actions are determined by our values, beliefs, and emotional anchors. And those map our internal world.

As the inner and outer worlds are connected, if you wish to change the external world (and few people don’t complain about this or that in the social or political realm) and blame the world on “them”, the first step is to ask what the world would be like if we were all like you.

If you don’t have healthy control of these three arenas, it is perfectly reasonable to assume that your perspectives are skewed, perspectives tilted, values conflicted.  Why?  If you KNOW a hot stove will burn your hand, and KNOW that your hand is burning, and can FEEL the pain, and have PERMISSION to stop hurting, and KNOW that removing your hand from the stove will lead to less pain…you’ll remove your hand.  Every time.  A person who does NOT remove their hand from the stove must:

  1. Not know their hand is burning  (say, nerve damage)
  2. Not know that heat damages tissues and causes pain  (so that they hurt, but cannot determine the source of the pain)
  3. Do not have permission to remove their hand (say, someone has a gun to their head, or they believe this to be true: “if you remove your hand, I”ll kill you or someone you love”)
  4. Believe that removing their hand will not reduce their pain (a different version of number three: “if I remove my hand, I lose my balance and will fall and hit my head.  I choose the lesser injury”)

There are other things: a belief that pain is good (“I deserve pain.  God wants me to hurt”), a desire to punish others (“see what you made me do?”), an urge to distract yourself from a greater pain (“as long as I’m screaming about my hand, I won’t notice the wound in my back”) and so on.

But IF (and this is of course a thing some will argue with) all organisms seek to minimize pain and maximize pleasure, you can ask some very simple questions about why people do what they do…why YOU do what you do, and the answers to this question will help you understand everyone around you, and all of human history.

Start by loving yourself.  A student this weekend said that she is highly accomplished, and her friends are sometimes afraid to have her around because she is so judgemental. This results in the inability to create a nurturing “tribe” to support her in hard times.

The answer is the first step: LOVE YOURSELF. If you love yourself, you believe in your potential.  You forgive your past, knowing you have done the best you can (if you could have decreased your pain and increased your pleasure, you would have. That’s how we’re programmed.)   YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD WITH THE RESOURCES YOU HAD.  And you grasp that any problems are the result of “kinks” in the wiring, usually fear or damage, values conflicts, negative beliefs or powerful emotions anchored into your body ESPECIALLY IN CHILDHOOD.

The stuff that gets programmed in prior to puberty is the most essential, the most basic, the hardest to change later. Those rules are our basic survival instructions, one step up from the “machine language” of the human psyche (basic instructions about fear, love, and anger) on how to survive, how to gain pleasure and avoid pain, how to gain control of our environments: the “belly brain” stuff that is foundational.

And if you were taught that you are helpless?  Inferior? A tool for the lust or power fantasies of others?  Ugly?   Broken?  How about if you learned that the way to gain power was to take it from others?  Kill or be killed? If THOSE are the lessons you got in childhood, do you know what?

All you have to do is watch the way you breath while in an emotionalized state, and it will be revealed.  If you breathe low and slow when emotionalized, you can handle pressure without “stress” becoming “strain”, and will be able to integrate your experiences to extract the lessons and refine your map, becoming better and better at finding your way away from pain and toward pleasure.

If you cannot?   Then the strain creates a “stress tunnel” in which you become more rigid, cannot see answers, react to what is imperative rather than what is important.  When your house is burning you’ll scream for help, and won’t listen to anyone who suggest that you need to put a screen in front of your fireplace. That is reasonable in itself. But when your house is NOT burning (and no one who is reading these words can honestly say their house is burning “all the time”) you will put your head in the sand, claim that fireplace screens are too expensive or troublesome to acquire, or that you’ll do it tomorrow, or that someone else will need to do it, or that you don’t believe your house is made of flammable materials.

Until the next time your house catches fire, and the cycle begins again.

This is why you need to look at the daily rituals of your life.  Up and down, stress and peace, day in day out.   Do you check the basics of your life the way a pilot goes through a checklist BEFORE they start their plane and take off?  When you are crashing it is too late.   And if you survive that crash (and anyone reading this has survived many) and you STILL don’t use a check-list before you start your plane next time, still don’t conduct daily maintenance, YOU ARE ASLEEP, or PROGRAMMED TO CRASH.

Wake up.  Look at your programming, NOT in terms of what you want to believe about yourself, but what you can SEE about yourself in the arenas of body, career, and relationships. If you tell yourself you don’t care, that is only remotely believable if you never complain about being sick, broke, or alone.  Otherwise you are “asleep” in that arena, are dealing with poisoned emotions, negative beliefs and twisted values, numb to the fact that your hand is burning.

If you can spend 10-20 minutes a day listening to your heartbeat and then journaling your emotions, you are getting in touch.  If you can perform an exercise like “the Ancient Child” you are coming into synche with your own younger self, engaging the genetic programming to protect the innocent.  YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF

If you can breathe properly, and maintain that breathing under emotional stress, and condition yourself to trigger this resourceful breathing before “strain” sets in, you remain open and soft-focused, aware of your environment, have access to your creativity. And if you love yourself, and have permission to succeed, and believe that health/fitness, success and love will bring more pleasure than pain to your life, you will automatically evolve. Heal.  Grow.  

There is nothing else that your organism can do.    It may be slow, it may be difficult to see change. But then…you couldn’t see yourself grow in height, either.  If you spend 40 years being screwed up, and then demand that you heal in 40 days THERE IS SERIOUS LACK OF UNDERSTANDING or  A HIDDEN AGENDA.

Note: this is precisely why I have zero respect for people who insist that generational damage on the social level should be solved in a few years.   They either have never explored their own lives, and lack wisdom…or they have an agenda, a map of reality they are desperate to impose upon you because they fear what will happen if you awaken.  IT DOES NOT SERVE THEM FOR YOU TO BE AWAKE AND AWARE.

Whether you are interested in personal growth and healing, of social change, you have to have an accurate map of the territory, and the only way to get it is to actually explore, actually see if your map will guide you.  If it doesn’t, adjust the map.  If it does, carry on.

The beginning is simply to control your daily actions, and see what results you get.

The “Daily Ritual”, “Ancient Child”, “Heartbeat Meditation”, “M.A.G.I.C. Formula” “30-Day Challenge” and all the other tools are dancing around a truth that cannot quite be put into  words.  BUT IF YOU WILL PRACTICE THEM, you’ll “get it.”  Yes, you will.

I’d guess that 99.9% of people, deep down inside, want healthy fit bodies, financial success doing something they enjoy, and someone’s hand to hold as they walk life’s path.   If you honestly believe you don’t, this path is not for you and I simply hope you find the path you seek and live the life you love.

But such people also don’t have emotional reactions to someone saying that they DO want these things.  They can laugh at it, the way you’d laugh if a five year old told you you were a cow.   NO anger, fear, resentment.  

If you cannot breathe calmly and properly under increasing stress, if you laugh inappropriately when challenged, if you have persistent money problems or hate the way you earn, if you do not have love and passion in your life…

Consider the possibility that someone in your past programmed you for failure.   It is NOT your fault.  

But it IS your responsibility. There is no one else to do the work.

I told people in the workshop that I cannot dig for them.  And that I can describe gold for years.  But all a teacher can do, at MOST, is to hand them a shovel and say “X marks the spot” so that YOU can begin to dig.  The work is yours to do. Anyone who says they can dig for you is selling something useless.  Anyone who says you need a fancier shovel is selling something expensive.

And anyone who tells you there is no gold is lying.

Get to work.



(The tools I mentioned are all available online, at our Lifewriting site.  For those who wish to heal themselves, or to apply these tools to creating a better world…you are invited.  It only costs $1 to begin the process, and join the growing community. is where you need to go.  Aren’t you worth risking 100 pennies?)

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