Controlling your emotions


(Note: if you are dealing with a clinical issue, you need to have your doctor in on this discussion, and any medications prescribed would most certainly fit under the “how you use your body) category.

One of the things people notice in Hollywood when they first start working there is how excited everyone is to meet you.  BIG fans of your work.  Can’t wait to see what you have!

And…at first you believe it. Then you notice they say it to everyone, and get disillusioned. But then…well…I can’t speak for others, but I noticed something.

Enthusiasm, PASSION, was the fuel for all projects.   Without it, nothing happens.  So what you had in these meetings was people throwing their hat over the fence, bringing up their passions over and over again, hoping that something that they hear in the next half-hour will sustain that investment.

In other words, they aren’t faking, they’re HOPING.  Praying. That SOMETHING they hear today will get their juices going.  Because otherwise, its just a paycheck.   If you don’t look down on these folks, you’ll see that they are smart, well-educated, hard-working (they often work late, and on weekends), and while most of the execs cannot create, they RECOGNIZE creativity, at least when it appeals to them.  That’s all they can really do, right?   Say “wow. I like this.”  And the trick in pitching in Hollywood is to “read the room”, to figure out who the alpha dog in the room is, watch their body language, know when you’ve “hooked” them and play to them, then carefully watch the others and see what turns THEM on as well.

Enthusiasm. You want them PASSIONATE about your work.  And if your attitude is: “I’m great, it’s up to you to recognize how great I am” you had better be exceptional.   But if you are “merely” excellent, and can play to their passions, you can do as well.

The point here is not about getting stuff made in Hollywood, it is that you operate like a corporation.  The “Parts Party” exercise will show you that it is possible, efficient and effective to view yourself as composed of many different parts, with different priorities: security, adventure, passion, contribution, guilt…all sortsa different folks.


And the more of them you get “on board” with your projects, the easier it is to sustain a day of high-energy work.  With a board meeting, I look at it as threading moving needles.  Similar metaphor can work for our own hearts.

ENTHUSIASM.  Not just “I have to pay the bills.”  Get both your LOVE and your FEAR working for you.   You can recognize people motivated by fear.  They run until exhausted, or trudge forward with the attitude of a scourged martyr carrying a cross to Golgotha.  One foot ahead of the other.  Tote that barge!  Lift that bale!

Wow.    But the truth is that the “enthusiasm” attitude doesn’t just happen naturally for most people.  It is generated by focus and action.  Remember that your emotions are created by: what you focus on, the language you use, and the way you use your body.


You connect all three of them in the “Morning Ritual”. If your demons are too active, you literally WILL NOT be able to do it for more than a day or two. Every possible reason will arise to stop you.  All of them are lying to you.

If you start by asking WHAT you want, and WHY you want it, the HOW you’re going to achieve it becomes clearer. And if you get really basic, go deep, you’ll see that there are multiple ways of accomplishing your goals.  IF YOU CANNOT SEE AT LEAST THREE WAYS TO REACH YOUR GOAL, YOU NEED TO GO DEEPER.

If you constantly keep your mind on WHAT you want, and all the passion, pleasure, contribution, adventure, security and freedom your goal will give you, and associate those emotions to the intermediate steps, (weekly/monthly outcomes) and your immediate actions (daily to-do) now you are able to feel excited about things that most people just “blah” their way through.  You are controlling your mental/emotional apparatus.

Take these two things: Focus, language, movement.   WHAT do you want, WHY  do you want it, and ONLY then ask HOW do you spend your time today to make it happen. Weave them together into a 10-20 minute Morning Ritual.

In one week, you’ll know whether I’m right about this.  Seek to make your Morning Ritual 1% better, clearer, more powerful every day.  And then see what happens to the rest of your life.













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