A FB friend recently complained about people who wish understanding for historical grievances, but in his opinion show insufficient concern for similar current problems in other countries. My response:
“If you care as much about what happens to other children as your own, you cannot function. That’s just survival. Any more than someone else’s injury hurts you as much as your own broken bone.”
His response, I thought was honest: “I cannot function.”
No, he cannot. NO ONE CAN. IF you make sure everyone in the world is fed before you eat, YOU WILL STARVE. In a world of bees or ants or termites, MAYBE it would be possible to be totally Other-serving, or even to really care as much about what happens to other people as yourself.
That is your choice, and a case could be made that it is spiritual and in some way enlightened and evolved. But let’s look at what I actually said: “if you care as much about what happens to other children as your own, you cannot function.” Meaning that if YOU choose to starve unless everyone eats, that is an adult choice. But if you say your CHILDREN must starve unless everyone eats, you have done something that the world will judge as foolish, destructive, and worthy of scorn. Your children will die. And while you have the right to decide to starve for your beliefs, you do NOT have the right to bring children into the world and starve THEM for your beliefs in any self-replicating culture I know of. It will be dead in one generation.
And in this instance, failure equals “wrong”. “Abusive”. “Evil.” Get it? Contrary to reproductive imperatives in this instance is considered “evil” by almost anyone in any time in any culture anywhere in the world.
And here’s the truth: People who do this don’t love themselves. In fact, often, they are so damaged that looking within themselves, serving themselves, healing themselves, is like looking into a sack filled with snakes. Digging in a dung-heap for crackers. So they care about other people. Wisdom is easier to dispense than follow.
There will ALWAYS be stress, poverty, pain in the world. If you have no center, you must have STRONG walls. If you have no walls OR center, you are a circle with no circumference. Some enlightened folks seem to connect with all the joy in the world, and make this work. Others connect with all the joy AND pain in the world, and frankly they are beyond my understanding. I can but bow.
But these people do not function in the “real” world of adult responsibilities. Either they are wandering mendicants, or retreat to monastaries, or are supported by some community. They can barely gather for themselves.
And can never care for others, especially helpless children. They cannot function.
The continuum of consciousness goes from:
Sleeping Child to
Sleeping Adult to
Awakened Adult (Awakened Children are rare and precious) to
Awakened Adult with Intermittent non-dualistic awareness to
Awakened Adult with sustained non-dualistic awareness to
States grouped under the category “Enlightened” which have no linguistic equivalents.
For all practical purposes, the only states that can be discussed in an essay like this are the first two: Sleeping Child to Sleeping Adult. They are the realm of consensus reality, the adult “everyday world.” This is the root. And just as emotional/spiritual pain can anchor in the “root” of body, such that you have to process it before you can heal, such pain also anchors in the “root” of the adult “mundane” world.
Navigating the “hunting gathering” of finance. Fail to do this in the natural world and you starve.
Navigating the “natural balance” of action-reaction, resources and gathering, fitness and avoidance of predators, attraction-attracted aspect of the physical body leads to joy in movement, facility, energy, health, and the ability to attract the people you are attracted to. Failing to do this in the natural world equals death.
Asking if an animal can navigate the territory of self-love is generally a fool’s question. Their survival drives are wired TIGHT. They automatically take care of themselves, and an animal that does not is immediately known to be sick. I’m afraid I have to ask you to apply this same rule to human existence.
These three arenas: Finance/Career, Health/Fitness, and Self love/Relationship are the “root” of our existence. TRYING TO BYPASS THEM IS A GRAVE ERROR. If you awaken your self-love, and have been abused, you will likely deal with massive anger at the people who damaged and discounted you. Anger is fear. The antidote for fear is gratitude.
In other words, you can safely address the root through your “Morning Ritual” in the following fashion:
- Start with Heartbeat Meditation, listening to/feeling your heartbeat, connecting with the source of love.
- Focus until you can connect with the loving child within you. Even if only the potential of a single fertilized cell. If necessary, seek support for this from a teacher or professional hypnotist, meditation teacher, therapist. My own “Ancient Child” technique is powerful.
- MOVE YOUR BODY. Your emotions are directed by your focus, the questions you ask, and the way you breathe, tense-relax your muscles, and hold your posture. 10-20 minutes with a daily commitment to improve 1% at this daily.
- WHILE MOVING, focus on the things you are grateful for. IF you cannot think of anything, you have defined an area where you are lying to yourself. Would you miss your eyesight? Yes? Then why the hell aren’t you grateful for it now??? Miss internet access when its gone? Yes? Why the hell aren’t you grateful for it now??? EVERYONE has things they could be grateful for if they decided. Without exception. Musashi’s first Principle is “Do Not Think Dishonestly”. If you can’t get through this first doorway YOU ARE A SLEEPING CHILD, blaming the world for choices YOU have made, even if it is only to accept the poisoned values spoon-fed you as a child. Or the similar poison fed to you by a sexual partner: the values communicated to you when your reproductive circuits are open are hellaceously tenacious. You CAN’T think your way out of that box…but you CAN MOVE YOUR WAY out of them. Focus. Move.
- When you can access those emotions. It may take time and practice. Give yourself 30 days! Find a partner and report DAILY on your practice. A virtual partner here on FB can work beautifully. If your negative ego shell is too strong YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP IT UP FOR 30 DAYS. Which means that if you get enough leverage on yourself, MAKE yourself do this, YOU WILL CHANGE. YOU WILL HEAL. However hard it is, you have identified the medicine that can save you. And brothers and sisters, once you identify ONE thing that will change your life, you need “only” find the allies, powers and faith that enable you to do that ONE THING.
The “Morning Ritual” can be this ONE THING for you. Connecting with your heart. Connecting with the animal reproductive circuits that can turn a passive frightened animal into a snarling monster protecting its young. SEPARATING the “adult” from the “child” so that your heart is safe and that Mommy/Daddy animal self protects it at all costs…reaping love in the process.
Do NOT drain that energy away by trying to heal the world, until you have healed yourself. Your children will starve. They will hate you for your neglect, and you lose the very creativity you need to solve your life issues and progress.
You remain asleep, enmeshed in a nightmare you feed with your own lack of direction. Change this by asking a ONE question: HOW CAN I IMPROVE MY MORNING RITUAL BY 1% TODAY?
That single question can save your sanity, so long as you can take the ACTION of actually performing your ritual for 10-20 minutes daily.
There it is: something anyone can do. The question is: will you love yourself enough to do it?
Only you can answer that question, but I pray your answer will be “yes.”