One of the most frequent questions I get is, “Where is spirituality in your equation? Fitness, relationship, career… doesn’t seem to be much room for God there, now is there?”
I’d laugh, if this weren’t such a serious issue. And if I have to explain this a thousand times, it could never be too often. Look again at the chakras. Spirit is the tip of the tree, the top of the chakra ladder. As such, it is dangerous to attempt to approach it directly. “You can awaken the kundalini from the base up, or from the heart out, but never from the top down.” I have known many, many people who considered themselves spiritual, but were completely blown out in the more basic arenas, and spent their lives wandering from church to church, guru to guru, seeking inner peace. They craved relationships or material success, and hadn’t the slightest idea how to find it. They wanted healthy bodies, but would rapidly lose the first five or ten pounds… and then be stymied. And not understand why. After all, they are spiritual. God (in all His/Her worldwide aspects) promises health and happiness to those on the true path. The ability to manifest miracles. Why, then, are these simple arenas of fulfillment denied?
All right, I’m going to come out of the closet on this one, and speak plainly. Because these people are deluded. They think they have spiritual connection, and what they have is a desperate grip on a mirage. Yes, I’ve known people I considered deeply spiritual who were “overweight”, or “broke” or “celibate.” But that is not the same as a person who fails at diet and exercise, struggles with their finances through failed business after business, or is stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage. Sorry. You can’t take your failures and hold them up as badges of honor. The ascetic “small boat” is not for most of us, and I’d say that better than 99% of the people who claim to have a direct connection to God while their families splinter into dysfunction are simply conning themselves. It is so sad.
The reverse, on the other hand, is much more direct. It is my belief that in 99% of the cases, a person who is healthy in body, who provides goods and services valued by his community, and has the self-love and self-respect to demand what he is worth, and has a healthy, sexy relationship with his spouse and a loving intimacy with his children… that person lives in the light of God. It is very difficult to imagine otherwise, although I’m sure there are cases out there. It is the “big boat”, the path to spiritual development that is available to all who are willing to take responsibility for their past results, and commit to a balanced, healthy future.
Connie Rae Andreas of NLP Comprehensive in Colorado has a process she calls “Core Transformation.” It is unbelievably beautiful, and a major breakthrough in my conceptualization of these things. What I believe she proved is that all human behaviors, no matter how brutal and destructive, are attempts to access the divine. That’s right–including rape, murder, arson, and robbery. We are trying to satisfy those basic Maslovian needs for power and security in such a way that we can feel secure and rise to the next level. And if those needs are fulfilled, the natural and indeed inevitable result is that evolutionary surge. It is natural, as natural as all water eventually making its way to the sea.
God is like the wind. Invisible. You can’t see the wind, but you CAN see the effects of the wind–the grass blowing. Our eyes and minds cannot directly address the divine. But by choosing our “grass” carefully, we can see which way the wind blows. I’ve chosen body, career, relationship. Some of those on this board have made other choices, and I honor and love them. I can’t pretend to read minds, to know if those choices are genuinely satisfying, or if they are deluding themselves (as, indeed, I may be deluding myself. There are no absolute answers this side of the grave. That’s why they call it Faith). However, I’ve never seen a single person hurt themselves if they DO take responsibility for these three arenas as I’ve described them. And, as long as they understand progress is slow and gradual, and will involve many Dark Nights of the Soul along the way, they grow and change and blossom. That is what I wish for all of you.
So where is spirituality? It is in the center of the triangle described by body, career, and relationship. It is the place behind your eyes, the thing you cannot see. It is the human soul itself, hidden in the last place you would ever look.