I had a couple of people question my blocking of rude or disturbed individuals. Perfectly reasonable: were there not things I could learn from these people? Probably. Was it worth what it would cost? I suggest not.
Rudeness, emotional disturbance and intelligence are on different graph lines. There is no direct connection. If there were, it might be worth the trouble. But…they aren’t. Therefore, there is nothing a rude person is likely to have to say to me that an intelligent but polite person cannot say. As I have thousands of friends, fans, and acquaintances of every race, creed, color, sexual or political orientation or whatever, I have no lack of perspectives from any sane and substantive portion of the consciousness continuum.
And if you cannot present your perspective without fear or distortion?
You have an inaccurate map. Who has an accurate map? People who can reach their destinations. And since I start with the assumption that 99.9% of people want love, health, and success, I simply don’t consider someone to have a better map than mine unless they can at least equal me in all three. And of course, I get criticized for this as well. That’s fine. Here is my reasoning.
- We become what we think about. The central thesis of “Think And Grow Rich.” Yes, you can be clever children and say “what if I think about carrots? Will I become a carrot?” Hah hah. The class clown strikes again. Did you get that out of your system? Good. Now we can proceed.
- We absorb the characteristics of the people we associate with. People are like tuning forks, vibrating at different frequencies. Ever notice that you can perform better when in the presence of a great teacher? It is because his voice, body language, facial expressions, words and intangibles (“chi”) are all aligned. In his presence, you simply are lifted to a higher level, and from there can perform beyond your ordinary concept. The same is true with people who tear you down. Crazy is contagious. Associate with crazy people, and you “norm” their distortion. Health professionals who spend their time with such people must be VERY careful, and that includes massage therapists, who can pick up the crap people lock in their bodies just by engaging with them physically. They must, as the Aikido people say, “keep their ki flowing outward.” By the way–this is a REALLY important in terms of sexual relationships. Never, ever, ever have sex with someone crazier than you. It may be fun (crazy people really can be amazing lovers. So I’ve heard. Ahem) but you are joining physical and emotional and spiritual “immune systems” with them…and with everyone they’ve ever slept with. If the implications of that don’t disturb you, you may not be considering deeply enough. Facebook may be a virtual environment, but if you don’t think people can gaslight you by speaking from a warped reality map but sounding perfectly reasonable, again, you may not be thinking deeply enough. Just maybe. I DON’T CARE HOW RATIONAL YOU SOUND, OR HOW REASONABLE YOUR ARGUMENTS ARE TO YOU. If you don’t have the results, I simply won’t open my pod bay doors and let you dock, HAL. You don’t get access to my USB ports, cannot pass my firewalls. You think this is unfair? Are you kidding? I have family, friends, associates, students and clients who depend upon me to keep my head screwed on straight. And I promised that little boy inside me that I would do all in my power to fulfill all his dreams. Do you think I can do that and carry your load of crazy at the same time? That I should take the time and energy to test out every interesting theory, even if people have no results? THAT IS WHAT YOUR TWENTIES ARE FOR. By the time you’re thirty, you should have a reality map that you are testing with ACTION, not THEORIES. Is that clear? If you think you have an interesting theory, set a goal and go after it. I’ll check back with you in a year. Let me know how you did. Good luck!
- Rudeness is fear. It is an attack. Violence stems from anger, anger from fear. People who are driven by fear have not mastered some important aspects of their psyche. They can be wonderful people, but my specific journey is not theirs. We don’t see the same world. Their map is of a different land–they cannot help me, unless I want to travel to their destination. Their “recipe” is for a different dinner. Fear and love compete for the same place in your heart. They have yet to discover or integrate this. I wish them well, and hopefully will see them on the other side.
These attitudes disturb people who are not happy with themselves. I shouldn’t be so positive, so self-confident, should stop to consider every opinion, every option, every possible alternative path. Should not act until everyone agrees with my perspectives and actions. That is called “paralysis.” I’ve seen how that works out for people, and its not pretty.
I should bend, stop, slow to reassure them that they are “all right.”
They are not “all right.”
They are wonderful, perfect, divine…but locked in a nightmare of insufficiency. I won’t lay down and sleep with them. But if they awaken, I’ll be proud to have them as companions on the path.