I think we’ve all been “down” at times. Other than chemical, clinical depression (for which you should seek a doctor’s help) our emotions can simply be balled into a knot. Remember the discussion of violence, anger and fear. Much violence stems from anger, and anger is the way we mobilize fear. We are never angry about things we are happy to have happen to ourselves, our loved ones, the people we empathize with. Remove the negative stimulus, you remove the angry response.
About twenty-two years ago my first marriage dissolved, and I was alone in a strange state with no friends, separated from my family, my career damaged. All I had was a bed, a television set, my dog, and a gun.
Not a great combination. For the first time in my life, I understood how someone could want to commit suicide. I wasn’t over the waterfall, but I could damned sure hear the rapids. I was losing myself, that sense of “Steve” that had sustained me all my life. And trapped there, the walls closing in, I got another of my “cubic inches of opportunity.”
I asked: “what would I tell one of my students to do?”
The conclusion was: “answer the question: Who Am I?”
But how could I do that? I felt lost. And in that darkness was an inspiration: “I don’t know who I am” I thought. “But I do know what I’m attracted to.”
I could use that. I decided on a tactic: to define clearly, on paper, EXACTLY what I was attracted to in a woman. Everything I desired and needed. The notion was that if this was what I wanted, then what I wanted was to be the kind of man who would attract a woman like THAT.
All I had to do was find women close to what I described, get them to talk to me about what they wanted, and I’d have the path clarified. What happened next took months, led to the creation of the SOULMATE PROCESS, and eventually meeting and bonding with Tananarive.
But…THE INSTANT I HAD A TACTIC, A STRATEGY, A DIRECTION, AN ACTION I COULD TAKE, my mood shifted.
It is critical to understand that. Our emotions are controlled by three things:
- How we move
- What we focus on
- The words we say.
The instant I focused on an answer, I was taking my mind off the problem. My spirit lifted. There are two potential “Five Minute Life Hacks” to be extracted here:
- Focus on what you want to be, have, and do with your life, so that you can think of the good to come, rather than the current negative situation. You are CHANGING FOCUS.
- Write out the qualities you desire in a partner. What your heart yearns for is complementary to your own self image. You are CHANGING LANGUAGE. You might not be able to change the words in your head, but you can control what you say or write.
- Integrate the things you learn above into your MORNING RITUAL. Once you have integrated the “Five Minute Miracle” into your schedule, the next step is definitely a full Morning Ritual, moving with power while focusing and chanting affirmations.
You know darned well that if you spent twenty minutes a day crying, moping, and saying negative things about your life it would poison your day. It works in reverse, too. IT WORKS POSITIVELY, TOO.
Starting with just five minutes. Yes, you will hit walls. Everyone does. YOUR job is to define what you want then generate the emotions that will allow you to take the actions that bring your desires into your life.
WHAT DO YOU WANT is the goal.
WHY DO YOU WANT IT is the emotions. These are the first two steps. After that, you can focus on the “how”. The “to do.”
With Jason, we have a FIVE MINUTE ACHIEVEMENT CHECK which, IF he can do it perfectly, would teach him focus, emotional control, and the strategies necessary to succeed in school. That means that every day we can get him to do it, he is taking a step along the route to a happy future.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? “Happiness” is the simplest meaningful answer. Everything else is the ROUTE to happiness, the route to this ultimate goal.
Why should Jason do his homework? So long as he does it to escape pain, he is associating pain with them. So at the least, we have to put pain on one end, and pleasure on the other. Punishment AND reward.
Ideally, he will start to associate study with success and pleasure. But…we then have to deal with his self-image. These actions will change him. His old self image will feel threatened, will react with anger and fear.
If you’ve ever wanted to know why it is so difficult to make basic changes, there it is.
THE FIVE MINUTE/SEVEN DAY EMOTIONAL DIET.
This is where we start: convincing you that it is possible. To do a “Morning Ritual” for at least five minutes every morning. To commit to doing it for seven days. During those seven days, use the “Five minute miracle” to check on your mood. Every time you find yourself in a negative space, you have sixty seconds to shift back to the positive, using your breathing. If you do, great. But if you can’t, START THE SEVEN DAYS OVER AGAIN.
You will find that these two things, in just seven days, can shift you so that you will have one of the happiest, most productive weeks of your life.
But YOU have to do it. You have to find something inside yourself to believe in, that you are willing to fight for. If you are so beaten-down that you cannot, I strongly suggest professional help. Don’t play with your life.
But if you can manage this, you can move on to powerful tools like THE ANCIENT CHILD and HEARTBEAT MEDITATION.
But the foundation is just five minutes for seven days. If you can do that…you can change everything.
(P.S.–I’m doing another Webinar on the FIVE MINUTE ACHIEVEMENT CHECK for your student/child tonight at 7pm Pacific. It will be on my FB page: https://www.facebook.com/steven.barnes.7127
If you have a kid to help, or want a sense of how much can be accomplished in just five minutes…join us!