Yesterday at one of Loscon’s room parties, I met a guy whose attitude is that people suck, including himself. He claimed to have no ambitions, not for love, or money, or even a healthy body. His explanation is that people with no expectations can’t be disappointed.
That…is so sad. He has no sweetheart. Works at no job that does more than “pay the bill”. His body was…shapeless. If he doesn’t find some balance or foundation within himself, doesn’t find a way to care about life, some courage to dream, he will in ten or fifteen years, when youth has fled, find himself one of the hollow-eyed legions trudging through life without any purpose but avoiding pain. One of the living dead.
In the middle of a crowd, there was nothing I could really do for him. And I hadn’t been invited to, so we were ships passing in the night.
But…what might I have suggested if he’d asked?
Well…he said that not caring meant he had no stress. Stress isn’t the problem: STRAIN is the problem. So he could breathe for sixty seconds every three hours, and start channeling that adrenaline into positive action.
He thinks he is worthless. So…it is clear that he was not nurtured lovingly as a child. So the “Ancient Child” approach would be great. Let the “Parent” nurture the “child”. The feminine energy to nurture, the male energy to protect and drive.
He thinks that life is lived best without dreams. This is raving, ravening, consuming terror. The “Grandparent” knows that you cannot live a life so small that death will not notice you. That part of you knows that love, and striving and dancing in the rain are the things that make existence sparkle. Dare. Dream. Love. Yes, you will cry at times. Your heart will be broken. But you will have LIVED.
Connect the child, parent, and grandparent. Balance the male and female aspects. I honestly cannot think of anything that we are, or need to be, that is not healed in this process.
And if that all seems complicated? Start with breathing, sixty seconds, every three hours. That turns fear into energy. And energy, focused, removes obstructions. That’s all you have to do, you know–remove the obstructions.
You were born perfect.
(the seven day emotional diet is available, free of charge, at www.fiveminutelifehacks.com)