The Basic Three

The goal is to balance several aspects: child/parent/grandparent, male/female are essential human aspects.   Black/white is less essential in a pure sense, but critical to understand American society, or to live within it if you are impacted or interested in racial issues.


I got seriously knocked off balance in the first two (child/parent/grandparent, male/female) when we were in Atlanta.   I couldn’t figure out what to do to get myself back together, until a coach reminded me of the Morning Ritual.


I began to perform it again, making the aspects clearer and stronger. I TRIED to stop, could feel my pretender voices chiming in and trying to rip my morning pattern apart.   But bullied, cajoled, rewarded, punished, and forced my way through.  Day after day.


And after seven days?

  1. I was accomplishing more with less stress
  2. Was happier all day
  3. Had more energy
  4. Was better with my family
  5. Was able to tap into my sense of optimism AT WILL.


It was wonderful.  Just seven days.


So here are the ways to balance these first aspects, in order of importance.


  1. Five Minute Miracle.  Sixty second breathing breaks, one every three hours.  CRITICAL unless already integrated at unconscious competence.
  2. Morning Ritual.  5-20 minutes of motion, focus, and emotional flooding, every morning.
  3. Ancient Child.   Balancing child/parent/grandparent, male/female, and if desired black/white.


The “Morning Ritual” needs to be explained again and again, at least in part because if you have a major wound, you will find it VERY difficult to do it for even seven days in a row. Everything in the world will rise up to stop you. This makes it a diagnostic.


The three components are:

  1. Physical motion (I use Tai Chi),
  3. Mental focus on gratitude, faith, and your goals.


In a fifteen minute session that would be five minutes on gratitude, five on future goals, five on your faith that you have all the ability you need to achieve it.  To go a little deeper, you are moving your body, focusing your mind, and accessing positive memories and emotions using the M.A.G.I.C. formula (Magic = Action X Gratitude, X Intention, X Conviction).   Miss ANY one of those basic aspects, and your formula equals ZERO.


For that 5-20 minutes, move as powerfully as possible, speak as positively as possible, hold your body language AS IF you believed even if every voice in your head is screaming that this is bullshit.


IF you can do this for seven days, you will begin to lock it in.  Every day.  Any time you feel your emotions shift toward the negative, you have about two minutes to do your breathing and get it back.


Let’s just leave it at this piece for now.  Any questions?


IF YOU ARE NOT DOING THE 5MM,  THE MORNING RITUAL,  AND THE ANCIENT CHILD,  YOU ARE NOT DOING THE PROGRAM.   DON’T SCREW YOURSELF OVER BY DOING A PART OF IT AND THEN SAYING: “SEE?  IT DOESN’T WORK!” While you MAY only need one of the three, together they are like hitting yourself with a nuclear bomb.  Of peace, of course.  Ahem.



Steven Barnes


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