Everyone Wants the First Four

So a few times recently I saw people discussing my advice for relationships, and replying in essence that they weren’t looking for what I was discussing.   My laughing question is: I am describing the territory I’m passing as I climb.  If wanna climb K2, why are you talking to a Sherpa on Everest?


Make no mistake: I don’t change my mind about things because it is politically convenient, or because an expert says something different, or because it might hurt your feelings if I don’t agree with you.  My only obligation is to speak the truth, and try to be as kind as possible about it.   If an expert says something, I’ll say it IF I AGREE.   I’ve disagreed with the Encyclopedia Brittanica.   Bring it.


So my position, clearly and unequivocally, is that better than 99% of people really, truly, deeply want:


  1. Health and fitness, to be beautiful by their own standards (look at what they are attracted to)
  2. Success at an art or activity that gladdens their heart and is held as valuable by their community
  3. Love and passion with another human being (and to love themselves and feel connected to the wellspring of life).  A sustained, committed, long-term relationship.
  4. Financial security and the ability to use money for pleasure, rather than just avoiding pain.

Notice how nicely they relate to the most basic chakras: survival, sex, power, love.   Maybe communication…maybe. But I’m not sure I’ve ever met someone who really doesn’t want ANY of these.  And as they are all connected, it is foolish to think you can pick and choose blithely. With deep consideration…yes.   Casually…no.

Everything I say operates from this premise. I know there are people who don’t want these things. But those people don’t complain about not having them, or their constituent parts. They also know that people are more likely to LIE about not wanting them than to actually not want them.


I won’t change.   If you want something different, find another mountain, or another Sherpa.  Please, please feel free to consider me deluded.   Doesn’t bother me at all.


And now, I return to my regularly scheduled musings.







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