I was listening to a video of a lady named Stacey Martino, an internet millionaire who coaches broken marriages, talking about how she would get it all back if she lost everything. No money, product, reputation, Rolodex, NOTHING except her knowledge of how she did it the first time. WHAT WOULD SHE DO IN THE FIRST MONTH?
What a great question! The thing that was so terrific is that she really could access that place inside herself. The scenario HAD really happened (as if often true of successful entrepreneurs–most of them have gone flat busted in the past). It happened with money, and with her marriage: her husband walked out on her, and realizing she really was responsible for at least half the problem, she went on a balls-to-the-wall campaign to win him back. She was utterly miserable, broken-hearted, overwhelmed with a sense of depression and despair. And somehow, she climbed her way back out of that place. She not only did it, but she learned lessons she has used to save thousands of other relationships. The fascinating thing was the similarity between a “30 Day” campaign to save her marriage and the campaign to save her business.
In both cases, she took full personal responsibility for her fate, and realized that the only way to handle this was to start with her own attitude, her mindset, her “energy.” She spend, and would spend, the first week GETTING HER MIND STRAIGHT. GETTING HER EMOTIONS RIGHT. Stripping away every bit of insecurity, guilt, fear, blame and shame away, leaving clarity and commitment. “My net worth does not equal my self worth” was an affirmation she used during her recovery.
If her mind wasn’t in the right place, she wouldn’t be able to function.
Starting Saturday, Tananarive and I are going to show you how we would write a story in a month. The reason I want to do this is that I want to show EVERYONE exactly how the process of creation can work. I am totally aware that many people are “pantsers” and just flow with it. GREAT! All that is is “Unconscious Competence” in all of the pieces leading to success, integration of the ‘Editor” and “Flow” states, and deep permission to succeed. Intellectual, emotional, and physical arenas all integrated. WHEN IT WORKS, IT LOOKS AND FEELS LIKE MAGIC.
Most people, most of the time, don’t have this “flow” sense at this level. Not all the time, or anything close to it. Even the greats talk about their struggles, and many of them make the mistake of using drugs or alcohol to access that space. Inevitably, they lose the ability to do it WITHOUT the intoxication. And the next step is…they can’t do it even WITH the intoxication, and then they are blocked, and screwed, and often destroy themselves.
T is more of a “Pantser”, but she does research exhaustively, and that is when she is thinking through structure. I tend to think of an idea, people it with characters, then ask how their hopes and dreams and needs connect to the story. She starts with Yin and ends with Yang. I start with Yang and end with Yin. Whenever we’ve worked together, one or the other of us takes the lead on the first draft, and the other helps with planning, bouncing questions, psychology (male or female, for instance) and rewriting. Outside in to inside out.
But first GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT! It would be easy to feel “blocked” with performance anxiety, if I didn’t have a process. Just…do it in a particular sequence. The first is GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT.
That is the Morning Ritual. For business, for relationships, damned straight for fitness, for creativity. GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT. FIRST. Everything else flows from that. If you are accomplishing, with joy, without such a ritual, you have this at “Unconscious Competence”–you are automatically managing your mind, body and emotions. Good for you!
But if you struggle, if you aren’t accomplishing as much as you want, if you aren’t able to wake up knowing who you are, what the most important thing to accomplish today and WHY you want to do it…then a MORNING RITUAL can be a life saver. Movement, thought, and emotion all connected, deliberately and consciously, every day.
I can promise you I’m going to need that like crazy. I have no idea what story prompts will be thrown at us. Or how they will develop into a story. It is POSSIBLE that I’ll freeze, or some business or personal thing will gobsmack us. And then I’ll have to get my head right and plow on, or fail massively, right in public view. Arrgh!
Join us, starting this Saturdy, as we start across the tightrope, sharing everything we know about the process of creation. It’s going to be scary…but hey, isn’t that what Halloween is all about!
Write with Passion!
(and yep, this is designed to be a perfect run-up to Nanowrimo!)