So we know the story: against a background of family strife, the two lovers meet and BOOM! Fall instantly in lust. I mean love. Juliet feels the pull as well, but quite sensibly insists that Romeo announce his honorable intentions. Overcome with lust (I mean love) he agrees to her terms, and opens his heart despite that family strife, and despite his general caddishness.
(by the way: this is why they are so young. Juliet is only 13! Romeo at least 18 or 19. He is clearly immature, and while she is actually more mature than Romeo in many ways, still a child. This explains the explosiveness of their emotions:
“These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triump die, like fire and powder
Which, as they kiss, consume”
They are struck by the core, central inter-personal human drive: love and sex, combined in the same package. Devastating. But it is also the driver of human life, the creator of families, the creator of children who must be protected. And the dawn of society, which exists to protect those children.
This force is second in universal experience only to personal survival, and once you have children, most parents will sacrifice even personal that survival for their welfare.
It is the door to adulthood. The opening of the heart to wish the same good for your love that you wish for yourself. It is sacred, and wonderful, and also disorienting and destructive if we don’t handle it well. Sex and love combined with faith (not necessarily in the religious sense, but that also) can move mountains and change lives. Who hasn’t struggled, worked, suffered for love more than they would for their own dreams?
We grow when we love. And eventually, something very close to ALL of us feel this pull, and wish to connect. What if you are gay? Or beyond the reproductive years? Or simply don’t wish to have children?
I suggest it doesn’t matter. The same “wiring”, programming, biological, psychological, social or spiritual needs are there to CONNECT.
Do you remember that first moment when you felt mature love? Not just attraction, but the sense that this person might be the other half of you? That you were willing to change your life, change your mind, become something better than you have been?
In the words of Peter O’Toole in “Creator”–do you see your unborn children in her eyes? Can you see yourself walking together and helping each other along the road of life after youth has fled, and animal passions died from a roar to a gentle nudge?
If you combine love, sex and faith in a future together IT CHANGES YOU. And the first time you experience it, a door of perception opens that you might not have even known existed.
Eventually, you will accept the challenge of loving, or admitting you want love. The only thing then is to prepare yourself. To be the very best “you” that you can be. To be as healed, and strong and beautiful as you can be, to be able to nurture and gladden. To find someone whose standards for power and beauty are enough like yours (and to live up to those standards!) so that you can relish each other, without the slightest sense of “settling” or “making do.”
Start with loving yourself. Really, thoroughly, deeply loving yourself, and you will know the value of your heart’s gift.
“My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.”
THAT is the true gift you have to give. Do not doubt. And do not squander it. It is more precious than anything that can be given one human being to another.
Start by giving it to yourself, and you will never mistake its value.
Love yourself…and share the love!