A glooming peace this morning with it brings.
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head.
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things.
Some shall be pardoned, and some punishèd.
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.
And that is the end of the play. The last step of the Hero’s Journey is “The student becomes the teacher.” Also such names as “the return to the village with the elixer” or “the movement to the higher level.”
When we finish one journey, we begin another, but our journey also stands as example for others. One purpose of great art is the binding together of social values: after viewing, the audience would often gather for coffee or wine and discuss what they saw. In that sense, Romeo and Juliet is a treasure trove of discussive possibility. What we need, however, is not bad examples but GOOD ones. There are a thousand ways to get lost for every way we might find our way home.
And if you find your way to a loving, happy relationship…share the wealth, by example if nothing else.
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Stevie. His mother and father divorced when he was about six, and his mother never remarried. He was nerdy and unpopular, and none of the girls he liked liked him. His hunger to find love grew and grew, and when he got to college he finally met a girl he loved, and who loved him, and after years of living together they married and had a daughter.
But…his ignorance of the way relationships really worked caused problems, and they had made errors in the construction of that relationship which, in time, grew until the problems were greater than the desire to be together, and the marriage began to crumble, and it failed. Lost, lonely, devastated and more insecure than he had ever been, rather than building his castle atop the rubble.
And in doing that, he learned that he had to start by loving himself, valuing himself, or he would have nothing to offer a healthy woman. If he wanted honesty, he had to offer it. If he wanted beauty and power he had to offer them. That realization changed him, and changed his focus, so that it stopped being about “what do women want?” and started being about “who am I?”
And it was the hardest, and most rewarding work he’d ever done, and as he walked that path, he met the love of his life. Now…that wasn’t the end of the story, it was the beginning of another:
How to nurture love every day
How to communicate
How to argue with integrity and compassion
How to raise children together.
How to keep the passion sizzling decades in
And so much more. Winning your love BEGINS with “I do.” And continues every day after, if you want to keep it alive.
That is what little Stevie learned. And in thanks to all the people who taught him along the way, he and his love now share what they learned, what they know, in the hope that everyone will find what they have found, and have what they have together.
That is where THEIR story stands.
Where is yours? The steps are:
1)love yourself. Heal and value your time and energy.
- Commit to loving another person. Admit that you want it.
- Understand the mating game in a way that blames neither side, and forces both to take responsibility
- Don’t worry about the people unattracted to you: you only need The Right One.
- Play the game of love with integrity and compassion…but enjoy the game. It’s the very best game in the world, when the players play fairly. There are no rules…but there more certainly are principles.
In general, those steps should be taken in that order. The good news is that self-love has all the joy and creativity you seek, and requires no cooperation from another human being…but simultaneously increases your likelihood of meeting that person.
Mindfulness, connecting with the source of love and life within you is your path to this wellspring. Commit to making this connection every day for the rest of your life.
Be the Hero in the loving adventure of your lifetime