The Value of Self-Love

The next  five weeks will be exciting: as we teach the first “Soulmate” class all we have to do is speak truth, lay out a perspective and respond to the students.  Here is today’s:

“Just finished the webinar and I liked the combination of having the powerpoint with the salient points outlined, along with the dialogue. Tananarive’s comment about how love is not supposed to make you feel insecure, was insightful; and poked at past relationships where I wasn’t engaging with my equal, punching above or below my weight, so to speak. Then Steven’s bullet point about a lioness needing a lion rang true and acted as a bookend about the ‘insecurity’. There’s a lot packed in that webinar, but I like things to mentally chew on, so I appreciate it. I’m also looking forward to the “playbook” and the exploration, and what will come up. My hang up is age, I’m older and while happy with myself and being alone, I wonder if my lion is out there.”


Let me just address a few of these wonderful thoughts, from the framework of the first week’s lesson: LOVE YOURSELF.


“Love is not supposed to make you feel insecure.”   Love gives strength.  You feel like you can push over a mountain.   The level of protective ferocity a mother feels for her child is a beautiful example of this.  Loving yourself should give you this, and anything less than that is a sign that that connection has been damaged, probably in childhood or prior relationships.


“A lioness needs a lion.”   You have the right to someone who completes and mirrors YOU.  What kind of partner would you want for your son or daughter?   Would you want them to “settle” or shoot for the moon?  Set your standards high…but be sure that you are willing to meet that standard yourself. More on this in week #2, but it starts here.


“I’m older…I wonder if my lion is still out there.”  This is totally rational, and for women, the statistics can look daunting as they outlive the men.  And this, again, is where Self-Love comes in.

  1. You must be content to be alone to be healthy with another person.   So NO MATTER WHAT, we start here.
  2. When you love yourself, you begin to understand your unique strengths.   You have to have that “Earth Below, Heaven Above, No One In The World Like Me!” Buddha baby attitude…but balanced with a sense that every snowflake in an avalanche is unique…but simultaneously the same.  The same in their universal uniqueness. Balancing on that edge is a fascinating philosophical position.
  3. The stats may be bad. But if you love and believe in yourself, if you are willing to fight for your life, you develop an amazing new resource: confidence. Confidence is an aphrodesiac to other healthy people.   It is magnetic, and often compensates for external power or physical attractiveness.  It has ENERGY.    My brother in law Patric Young had a great philosophy about work:   “If there are only two jobs left in the world…I’m getting one of ’em.”


Wow.  THAT is an attitude.  THAT man is going to have a job, no matter what.  So if there are only 90 men for every 100 women…all you have to do is be sure you aren’t in the bottom 10%.  That is the brutal truth. And simply by being confident, happy in who you are, you AUTOMATICALLY lift yourself up.


Get that?   If there ARE no men, you are gonna be happy. But if there are? You will be magnetic.  You WANT a relationship, but don’t NEED one.  That is an element in the “indirect magnetism” we will speak of, the ability to be enormously attractive to the right people without really trying.


IT CANNOT BE FAKED. The “Pick Up Artist” and “Make a Man Fall In Love With You” communities try to “fake” being healthy animals available for mating.  Here’s a radical concept…how about actually being one?


And the first step is loving yourself.






(the “Ancient Child” meditation is one of the most powerful tools we have for connecting with your loving heart.  Get your free copy, and join this amazing free class, at:

One comment

  1. Has the Soulmate course begun? I signed up for it, but received no notification about the webinar you reference. Is there a recording available somewhere?


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