emotional healing

Watch out for teeth

The first steps in my process are simply the steps necessary to become an awake, aware, healthy, strong, loving human being. Such people simply don’t cause probles for other healthy people
1) Take care of yourself. Prevent stress from becoming strain. Ordinarily, I suggest sixty second “breathing breaks” every three hours. In times of peak stress, do it every hour. Listen to your heartbeat for 10-20 minutes a day. Visualize the child self, and commit to protect him/her.
2) Fill yourself with loving emotion FIRST, and share with others from the overflow. You are a hose, not a bucket. Connect with some Source larger than you. Be a hose, not a bucket.
3) Remember that violence comes from anger, anger from fear. Love transformes fear into the root energy of life. Come from love…but take no crap. No one is more cynical than a wounded optimist.
4) Extend your own “inwardness” to others. See them as a version of you, living a different life. Forgive yourself for your own failings…and you can forgive others. But as you have to discipline yourself to move beyond your weaknesses, so must you refuse to accept damage and insult to those who are thrashing in fear.
Most people are not monsters. They are asleep, or afraid. But as you awaken and comfort them…watch out for teeth.


TAGR #7: Procrastination

TAGR #7: Mastery of Procrastination

“Perfectionism is Procrastination masquerading as quality control.”–Steven Barnes

“Analysis of several hundred people who had accumulated fortunes well
beyond the million dollar mark, disclosed the fact that every one of
them had the habit of REACHING DECISIONS PROMPTLY, and of
changing these decisions SLOWLY, if, and when they were changed.
People who fail to accumulate money, without exception, have the
habit of reaching decisions, IF AT ALL, very slowly, and of changing
these decisions quickly and often.”–Napoleon Hill

Adjust the previous numbers for serious inflation, and the implications are stunning. You know whether or not you procrastinate. Consider this to be ANYTHING that stops you from completing projects, being rewarded for them, and creating the next project.

In writing: what is “writer’s block” is anything that stops you from writing, insufficient or excessive re-writing, submitting, and continuing on to your next project. Insufficient or excessive research, willingness to accept valuable input, In other words, ANYTHING that stops you from fulfilling your potential for quality and success.

In fitness: this is anything that stops you from moving your body daily, keeping track of your eating daily. Recording and evaluating your results, building support teams, and anything else that moves you in the desired direction.

In mental development, this means studying your occupation to see where you can improve, getting better role models. building rapport with your co-workers, developing a better mental attitude. Taking personal responsibility. Dividing the work into bite-sized chunks that can be completed by the end of the day.

In finances, this means balancing your checkbook, writing your goals daily, and saving 10% of your income for long term investment. I mean this money is NEVER to be spent–you will pass this to the next generation.

You must define the long and short term steps to your goals, break them into chunks, and track whether or not you are doing it. Procrastination is fear, and the first step to mastering fear is to acknowledge it exists.

Remember: you cannot live a life so small and inconsequential that death won’t notice you.

Using the “Ancient Child” technique


I’ve been working and testing the “Ancient Child” technique for about five years now, and what people asked for was a fuller explanation, as well as a “plug and play” approach to using it. I’ve done that, and it will be available very soon, on the new blog I’ve been creating with WordPress guru Lorelle VanFossen.

Let’s discuss one application of the technique: emotional abuse. Especially if the abuse originated in childhood, this can be devastating. A parent who damages heart and body, or fails to provide protection for same, changes the profoundly important relationship with your core self, affecting:

Ability to find honest healthy relationships
Self-discipline (why bother if you aren’t worth it?)
Artistic success (which is a balance between “creative child” and “marketing/agenting adult)
Body composition issues (obesity and anorexia)
Self-damaging (cutting, etc.)
Drug and alcohol abuse
Sexual issues

And much much more. The “Ancient Child” technique can have a powerful effect here, because the “child” image you create is, specifically, a representation of the child you were BEFORE the abuse began. (Note: if you have serious abuse issues, please seek therapeutic assistance. Your therapist should be aware of what you intend to do here)

What you have to do is:

1) Enter a state of deep relaxation. Meditation or self-hypnosis.

2) Connect with your own heartbeat and “source of love.”

3) Visualize the child self.

4) Connect with the child self: visualize holding, hugging, playing with.

5) Remember the first time you held your own child, or held a baby sister, brother, or cousin. Find the “protective” door in your mind, even if it was only for a puppy or kitten. It’s there. You have the wiring. Or: remember/imagine being held and nurtured in infancy. EVERYONE was, whether you can remember it or not. Human beings who are not nurtured in infancy DO NOT SURVIVE. You may have blanked it out…but it happened. Find it. Meditate and search within yourself until you can find this strand of love, unbroken through the generations, back to the beginning of our species.

6) Commit to being your own mother/father. To DIE before you let anyone else hurt that child again. To protecting her dreams and hopes. To spending every day loving and nurturing.
Tell her/him. Say the words. Speak them aloud: “You are the most precious thing in all the world. Daddy is here, and I will never leave you alone again.”

7) Listen to what that “child” self has to say in return. See if there is a conversation to be conducted.

8) After you have emerged from your relaxed state, use your non-dominant hand (your left, if you are right-handed) to write a letter FROM your “child” to your current, adult self. Read it aloud.

This process can be of stupendous benefit. Please, please–even if you are “healthy” you will find it useful to connect to your creativity and aliveness. But if, like most of us, you’ve been banged up by life or have issues with parents, it is close to miraculous.

The process was given to me by a succession of phenomenally wise men and women. And now…it is yours.