therapy

When People Lie to Themselves

The thing about Coaching in comparison to writing is that it uses more of who I am. Check the clinical notes from a patient I worked with yesterday, a very successful man, “N.” who is recovering from a stroke and a lifetime of emotional abuse.

Any instinctive “hit” I get from someone is based on a sense of their imbalance in one of three basic arenas. I assume that 99% of people want:

1) A strong healthy body they would consider sexy, capable of hunting, gathering and either fighting or evading predators.

2) To provide goods and services to their community, supporting themselves with joy and contribution with enough excess resources to provide pleasures and freedom.

3) To find a loving, bonded relationship with someone who appeals to them emotionally, physically, mentally, and shares their spiritual values.

That other 1%? They don’t need me, and are on a rarefied path. But I assume that if people argue with any of this, they are just telling me the “story” they use to bind together the beliefs, fears, values and scrambled intents that keep them stuck.

I don’t buy it, because people lie to themselves, and when they do that, they can’t possibly be honest with others.

It is as simple as that.

And it’s been my experience that when I run into one of those 1%? They know exactly what I’m talking about, why I take the attitude I do, and are not offended in the slightest. Any emotional reaction? They aren’t in the 1%.

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