Let’s look at the way two different models interact.
(Sleeping child–>Sleeping Adults)–>Awakened Adults
The arrows indicate the direction of growth. A “sleeping child” is someone who has accepted the consensus reality maps, and holds others responsible for their feelings, actions, and welfare. A “sleeping adult” has accepted responsibility for his feelings and actions, but is still wrapped up in the stories of life they got in childhood.
The parenthesis includes (for all practical purposes) all young people at one point, but as you reach the age of having children and losing parents, most begin to awaken and shed the automatic roles handed them by society, beginning to ask deeper questions about their existence. The Sufi expression to “die before you die” suggests that real “awakening” comes to all of us at the moment of death, but that seekers attempt to open this door before they end their physical existence.
What stops us is fear.
Now lets look at another model: the Chakras. Here, we have the notion that you can “awaken” two different ways: by engaging yourself with the physical world (mastery of the body, ethical sexual relations, building and maintaining a home, opening the emotions, learning to speak honestly and open the mind, building and testing a map of reality, and finally preparing for death). You can also advance simply by opening your heart, then learning to navigate the world and protect your loved ones with integrity to your values.
What you CAN’T do is “open the way” by forming concepts that aren’t heart-centered or based on our animal relationship with reality. That is the trap of the intellectual, and it is a vicious one (they sound SO reasonable).
A healthy human being will evolve naturally as they experience life. But abuse, trauma, dysfunctional family or social situations can slow or confuse this, retard development. As the “sleeping” state includes the possibility of high financial and worldly success, there are PLENTY of people who stay here. The advantage of being an “awakened adult” is the advantage of playing Monopoly without hallucinating that you can move into Boardwalk. You are “in the world but not OF the world,” and that allows you to avoid some of the traps of stress and ego. Some. Useful state, and one available to almost anyone willing to do the work. (There are more integrated states that can still be labeled, but they’re another matter).
That path of development is one you must claim for yourself. Societies will not encourage you. In many ways they thrive on keeping you in an extended adolescence, or pretending that that a raise from 100k to 105k is more important than a year of hugs from your little girl. Society needs dogs, not wolves.
The route to healing is so simple that people seek complication. “It CAN’T be that simple!”
Yes, it generally is.
- Love yourself. Enough to connect with your natural instinct to protect your own child. Changes EVERYTHING.
- Love one other person. A connected adult relationship. Sex as part of that equation is powerful fuel, shattering ego walls and hitting a “reset button” on self-concept.
- Understand human history without guilt, blame or shame. My personal preference is to also understand it without the typical human “my tribe is better” bullshit, but that’s a matter of faith, not rational conclusion. But understanding that humans have done the best they could, that forgiving them is the doorway to doing better NOW, and not being afraid of the future is I think critical to being that awakened adult.
- Protect your tribe. Don’t waste time arguing with sleepers or trolls. The people and institutions that hurt you will also waste your life energy, trying to get you to convince them that water is wet while your children drown.
- Win with integrity. Remember that you’ve been wrong before, and will be again. That you might win this time, but you will be down again, and that the BEST you can hope for is being treated as well as you treated others.
If you follow the road of asking “who am I?” and “what is true?” you will get there, so long as you anchor your answers either in love or physical experience.
If you follow your heart, connect with your Child self to unshield that rabid Mommy/Daddy Wolf, you will also get there.
Love yourself. Love others. But don’t take shit from anyone.